Building New Neural Pathways

Being human can be a bit of a struggle. Life is an amazing gift, and yet, it includes pain, frustration, and difficulty. I find that being able to track the beautiful, juicy parts of life helps me to build my joy and gratitude for being alive, even when things are difficult.  Two of my favorite things about being human are:

1.    The way we can continually grow and change till the day we die

And a particular aspect of growth:

2.    That we can take an experience or pattern that is problematic or painful and literally transform it into a different way of being.  

Both of these are in part, about building new neural pathways: new ways of thinking, new ways of responding, new ways of seeing ourselves and the world.

Have you heard the phrase “neurons that fire together, wire together”? It means repetition is key when building habits. If you repeatedly do a thing and think certain thoughts, or respond in a particular way, that this will lead to creating patterns. So, dismantling a habit, behavior or perception, takes intention and effort. The longer the habit or unconscious pattern has been in place, the more awareness, intention, and practice it may take.  But the good news is we are able to change our perception of ourselves, our experiences, and our ability to respond in new ways!

So how do you change a deeply engrained pattern? With compassion, curiosity, awareness and practice! Lots of practice. This is the 7-step formula that I use:

1.    Become aware of the pattern

It sounds obvious but this is sometimes the hardest part. So many of our patterns are unconscious. Just noticing the pattern is a great first step!

This is the first step in the Anjuli process: to recognize. It is something we have been practicing on a deeper and deeper level (from physical patterns, to mental, emotional, energetic, etc.)from the Stabilize phase.  You can start by reflecting on something that isn’t working and ask yourself:

a)    is this something that only happened once, or is this a feeling/behavior/sensation etc. that I am familiar with?

b)   How often can I remember this pattern?

c)    Is this something that is improving my life, or is it is something I want to understand and transform?

2.    Notice the pattern as it is happening

Now that you have identified the pattern, see if you can catch the pattern while it is happening. This is tricky at the beginning, you may catch yourself just after the pattern happens, that’s ok. Just keep at it and you will get closer and closer to catching it in realtime.

Ideally in this step you can pause and interrupt the pattern. Try not to be hard on yourself, just be curious about the pattern.

3.    Map the pattern

(Note: this is the beginning of metacognitive knowledge, which you can learn about in the Metacognition article.)

The more you know about the pattern the easier it is to understand:

a.    how it was formed and what purpose it has served

b.    what are all the avenues to catch and interrupt the pattern earlier and earlier in the cycle (leading to catching yourself justbefore the pattern starts), and

c.    have ideas about what might be a healthier alternative.

To map the pattern ask yourself the following questions:

a.    What do I know about this pattern?

b.    What was happening just before the pattern started?

c.    Have I noticed this pattern before? If so, in what situations?

d.    Does it happen in some situations more than others?

e.    Where do I feel it in my body? What sensations, thoughts, emotions or images am I aware of when this happens?

f.     Does this pattern remind me of anyone or any particular time in my life?

4.    Decide what you want instead

Use your imagination to decide what you want instead. Get as specific in this as you can.

Map this out in a similar way to step three, using your five senses to amplify the imagining.

Possible questions you might ask: How would this feel if it were true or real? What would the sensations, emotions, etc. be in this new way of thinking/responding?

Remember, strong emotion (especially positive emotion) will help reinforce new neural pathways, so revel in thefeelings this elicits in your body! (Relaxation? Contentment? Joy? Relief?)Once you get clear on this new pattern, make a mental note of it for later use.

5.    Catch and Shift

Next time the old pattern comes up, stop and shift your awareness and intention to the new pattern, bringing it into your mind and body as strongly as you can.

Again, use your five senses to amplify the felt sense in your body of this new pathway you are creating. This takes practice, so be gentle with yourself if it doesn’t come easily at first!

6.    Highlight the differences

Afterwards, use your reflective thinking(metacognition) to notice the differences between the old and the new (like our opposite practices in the three phases). Toggle back and forth, noticing the effect on your body, mind, emotions, sensations and spirit.

Whatever differences you notice (especially the positive ones) sit with those and see if you can amplify the experience.Let your awareness take in the cost of the old pattern and the goodness of the new as you toggle back and forth.

7.    Amplify the new

End by staying in the new. Again, see if you can strengthen the sensations, emotion, and thoughts that will continue to build this new neural pathway.

This process has been an amazing game changer in my life, but it has taken time to develop the skill so be gentle with yourself, it will be worth it. It has helped me transform patterns big and small. For example: giving up coffee, even though I love the smell and taste of a good cup. Coffee makes me jittery, so noticing the pattern of how caffeine affected my body, mind and emotions was my first step.  Then choosing to amplify how I felt when I was well rested, alert, but not caffeinated helped me find other ways to support my body.  I created the new by using sleep, nourishing herbal tea, and meditation to be alert and present but not jittery.  

It also helped me to shift a core pattern around asking for support when I have a need, a pattern I uncovered as the fundamental reason I got breast cancer. For me, the process and the results have given me the confidence (and the experience) to know with certainty that when life throws me curves, I can go toward what makes me uncomfortable and walk through that terrain to what lies on the other side. That with this gift of a human brain and intentional awareness, I really can continue to grow, change and explore. Changing my brain along the way, until the day I die, and so can you.

‍