Our Balance Zone: Understanding Windows of Tolerance

In general, our windows of tolerance determine how comfortable we feel with specific memories, issues, emotions, and bodily sensations. Within our window of tolerance, we remain receptive; outside of it we become reactive.

Daniel J. Siegel, Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation

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In the first phase of The Anjuli Method, we learn to stabilize our nervous system: recognizing when we are approaching the limits of our windows of tolerance, identifying the patterns that bring us there, and building our toolbox and ability to reset our system back to a balanced state.  In addition, we do practices to expand our windows of tolerance, which leads to more balance and resilience in our systems. 

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These superpowers: to recognize, reset, and stabilize, will provide the base of support for us as we move deeper into the phases of the method and on our journey of healing. With these skills, we will cultivate curiosity and compassion. These are more accessible when we are in a state of balance, and are some of the first traits to go when we are in an over aroused state. 

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These superpowers: to recognize, reset, and stabilize, will provide the base of support for us as we move deeper into the phases of the method and on our journey of healing.

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The windows of tolerance (first introduced to this language by Dr. Daniel Seigel, see external resource below) are the parameters that allow your brain and nervous system to stay in balance or homeostasis. When we are in this zone of balance, we can think clearly, respond appropriately, and stay in connection with ourselves and others. 

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If we have experiences that activate our stress response, we may be able to manage that activation within our windows of tolerance. If the stressors are significant enough, they can push us out of our balance zone into either:

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• hyperarousal (overwhelm, anxiety, panic) or 
• hypo arousal (shut down, freeze, depression.)

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The size of our balance zone varies from person to person and can be impacted by a range of factors including attachment trauma, mental health challenges, illness, and neurodiversity. It also varies across time and can fortunately be changed or expanded through neural integration work, strengthening the pre-frontal cortex, and increasing vagal nerve tone. 

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The parameters of our windows of tolerance are created starting in the womb. Their development is influenced by the mother’s stress and cortisol levels during a critical fetal development phase. This phase is when our hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal axis (HPA,) as well as our amygdala, are being formed. When we are born, this shaping of our brain continues, influenced by the ability of our parents and caregivers to soothe us and co-regulate throughout our first two years.