Internal Working Models

The point is, the Islands of Personality are what makes Riley, Riley.

Joy, Inside Out by Pixar

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We all have templates in our heads that help dictate our understanding of ourselves, others, and the world. These templates, called internal working models (IWMs), are like a rule book of parameters for operation. They are built in our first two to five years based on our experience with our caregivers and the world around us, but continue to be updated and re-written throughout our lives. IWMs function like a triage filter to help us make sense of interactions, and decide how to respond in a way that is cohesive with our personality. 

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During our first few years of life, we were completely dependent on others to meet our needs. Our survival depended on our caregiver’s ability to interpret our needs and respond. Based on that back-and-forth interaction, our little brains created cognitive “rules” to make sense of these exchanges in an effort to optimize our experience. In other words, we created stories or rules about the world and people. 

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We decided how safe it was to have needs, which needs would be met, and which needs just led to arousal and painful sensations. These rules became part of our Internal Working Models.  They helped us to respond to stimuli (internal or external) in a way that kept our physical and emotional arousal within tolerable limits (see Our Balance Zone: Understanding Windows of Tolerance.) This allowed us to stay in balance or homeostasis. 

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This feedback loop created the structure and function of our brain and it continues to influence our physiological, emotional, and mental response to others. These IWMs are the primary basis for how we regulate our emotions and nervous system activation in the ever-changing context of our interactions with others. They affect all of our relationships, particularly with the people who are the most important or most influential in our lives (our partners, friends, bosses, kids, etc.)

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As we go through our lives, new experiences continue to shape and strengthen these existing templates (IWMs). However, unless we have consciously re-wired our brains, all new experiences - interactions with cultural expectations, and personal and professional relationships - are filtered through these IWMs and reinforce or shape these original templates. They act like a lens that colors our perceptions. We construct stories (thus the voices) to make sense of these rules. IWMs are primarily unconscious and we often respond to them without noticing how they relate to our early childhood experiences. We rarely challenge the validity of them in our current life. 

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Because these templates were created before we had adult language and are stored as implicit memories in our right hemisphere, they can be triggered, complete with the intensity of the original experience, whether we are 5 or 50. Ever have something happen where you all of a sudden feel a rush of fear or anger, and you feel ‘taken over’ by your emotions? Later, after you calm down and reflect, you realize your response was a little “over the top,” but you don’t know why? 

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Most likely, that was an internal working model being activated. They can also shape how we access or view our internal state. Let’s say you need an afternoon of rest. Your internal intuitive voice is telling you that if you don’t rest, you may get sick. If your familial IWM combined with lifelong cultural messages that meeting your own needs is ____________ (insert the word that comes up for you, i.e., “selfish”, “lazy”, “a good idea because no one else will”) it can, and most likely will, influence whether or not you listen to your internal guidance.

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In the processes of The Anjuli Method, activities are designed to help you understand your IWMs and make them more conscious. This is part of developing your interoception and intuition, strengthening your own internal knowing of what you need and want. This will allow you to challenge and reshape your internal working models so that they are more adaptive for who you are now, and the life you want to create.